Thursday, December 30, 2010

Moving stresses....

I totally hate moving but I always end up moving All the time!!
It seems funny that I am suppose to avoid things that stress me out for the baby and yet all of those things seem to be happening right now!!! Trying to deal with post holiday stress, moving stress, work stress, and pregnancy stresses!!
We are trying to be good and contact everyone and thank them for their presents and cards and everything! But we have very little time because we are trying to pack and clean and we both work!!
Moving is EVIL! Okay okay its not that bad but of course the morning of the day I am suppose to spend the whole day packing I mess up my neck!!! Plus I am always super nausious!! I feel bad that I cant do much but if I try packing for more than a couple minutes I get sick! I really want to help but I need to keep down stuff for the baby! Plus I have acid reflux caused by the pregnancy and I cant take medicine for it!!!
I really want to work so I feel useful plus we could use the money to save for the amazing nursery that I want! But I get sick all the time and work is super draining..... Hopefully it will pass after the first trimester which is almost over!!!
Plus being pregnant is stressful! I know its suppose to be super happy and exciting time..... dont get me wrong some of the time it is. But being sick is not fun or exciting!! And I dont even feel pregnant! I just feel sick!!!!!
Ah!!! I know I am kinda complaining alot but I just have to let it out.
SO To all the pregnant moms, and newlyweds: Life is stressful!!!! Find ways to deal with it together! WOrk through it! Realize when the other one needs more help!!!

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

Sometimes it doesnt seem real

Sometimes I wake up in the morning and am surprised that I have my own home, a ring on my finger, and a baby on the way! Since I am not showing at all yet the latter or is the hardest to grasp. It just seems like a perfect dream and I am afraid I will wake up and it will be gone. I think I need to focus on enjoying it instead of waiting for it to end. I think that is one of my biggest flaws. I am always waiting for the good to end....
In my head I can't understand how someone as amazing as my husband would want to be with someone like me! In my head him wanting to have children with me is even harder to grasp!
I know that he thinks I am amazing Im just not sure why.
I know some of this is definitely the hormones, but the future seems scary at times. It doesnt help that my parents are divorced and divorce is everywhere now adays. I know that my husband and I will never get a divorce but it is a scary thought that someone who loves you so much one moment could decide they no longer love and just leave the next moment!
I'm sorry this blog isn't happy. I know it should be I have so much to be greatful for. But I wanted to get this out along with a promise to my husband and my child! I promise I will try to be optimistic again like I use to be! I promise to enjoy every moment with you!
To all the newlyweds or parents-to-be: Fall more in love each day. Know that you deserve one another! Enjoy every moment together. Because the moments are fleeting! And life is always changing!!!

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Crazy hormones!!!

So everyone that is close to me lately has probably noticed I'm a little moody! Its really hard to hold this in all the time! I am in my 6th week of pregnancy so I have a LONG ways to go!
I always thought being pregnant would be super easy. And so far it hasn't been too bad. Not easy per say but not difficult either. Just nausea, exhaustion, and mood swings.
Thankfully I have an amazing husband who is super considerate. I will have just gotten totally upset over something stupid and he wont even bring it up. He just holds me until I am back to my normal self.
So to all the other pregnant couples, or married couples: Mood swings happen in girls whether or not we are pregnant- just a lil worse when we are. So to all the husbands please be patient and loving we will be ourselves soon enough. This is a scary time and we need all the love and support we can get!!!

Monday, November 22, 2010

New twist in the marriage!!!

So today I took a test to prove to my husband that I was not pregnant! But to my surprise I am!!! I am so excited to have my own little family but completely shocked at the same time. It has its scary moments already but I am so happy already. I already Love it more than anything- except my husband that is!! Well not much to say tonight. Just sharing my joy with the world. The Tharp Family is about to expand to 3!!!

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Changing my Christmas Views...

So I love Christmas! But I am usually quite picky about it.
No music, decorations, or anything Before Thanksgiving. I thought people were super selfish and thats why they would push Christmas in front of Thanksgiving! Man was I ever wrong!
This is my first Christmas being married! So I am a little eager. I am eager for THanksgiving too. Don't get me wrong. But that holiday has mostly turned into a day to gorge ourselves. Instead of a day to be thankful.
But around Christmas people are charitable, giving, and happy. It is a great feeling! So of course I am pushing for it to come faster. Today is only November 14th and I already have my Christmas tree up. Plus we watched our first Christmas movie today!
So for all the people who are like I use to be and upity about when we can start celebrating. Relax and have fun Christmas only comes once a year. So let us celebrate as soon as we want!
TO all the newlyweds and engaged couples: Enjoy the holidays together!!! The first one is always the most exciting(anyways that is what I have heard)! Just remember what the holidays are all about! After all this year you have even more to be Thankful for!!!!

Tuesday, November 09, 2010

Not myself

So lately I'm not sure what has been up with me.... Just something... I just haven't been myself. I'm usually an optimist but I turned into a total pessimist. I could tell it was happening but couldn't really do anything to stop it. The more I noticed the worst things got. Nothing seemed to help permenantly. Occasionaly something small would bring me back for just a moment but it was usually short lived!!
I finally decided enough was enough. I tried to figure out what was wrong with me. I was super stressed out for a ton of different reasons. Mostly money. A new job- even though I love it it is stressful. A small/trashed apartment- which even though it was driving me nuts I was so exhausted that I did nothing about it! Unexplainable exhaustion!!
Thankfully my husband is incredible! He has been supportive and loving! Eventually things started turning around. When I noticed I was becoming worse I started trying more. Getting more rest, trying to straighten the apartment more, and money finally turned around. We make plenty of money but budgeting is the problem! We finally created a system that works!
So to all the engaged couples and newlyweds: Girls and guys have weird times. When they just need someone to hold them without questions. I know its hard for us to always understand each other but just remember we will eventually be ourselves again and love you even more for being with us!!!

Sunday, October 31, 2010


So up until yesterday I haven't gone back to the temple since my endowment day and my wedding day. Even though when my husband and I were sealed in the Rexburg temple the sealer told us to come back often! When our new bishop interviewed us he again told us we needed to go to the temple! But I was very apprehensive about going back. New experiences are super hard and learning new things can be hard so I was avoiding going back!
Well the other day my husband and I actually got in a fight. We never really fight we have little arguments but thats about it. As we were fixing our problem that caused the fight I had a feeling that shouted Go to the temple! I looked and Jonny and just said we should go to the temple! He asked where that came from. I told him I was told and that was that. But again I was very nervous. So I called my Mom. Who of course said she would come with us saturday morning before I had to go to work!
After I got out of the temple Everything was Better. A ton of stress was gone for both of us. We grew closer together instantly!
So to all the newlyweds and engaged couples: Go to the temple often! It is something new I know but it is so much easier with everytime you go! You grow closer together and bond so much everytime! It is the best place to be!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Being involved in Every Decision

So the other night I discovered I have been saying one thing to mpy husband but not doing it myself! We had a problem when we were engaged and it has flowed into our newlywed life. my husband isn't use to involving someone with his decisions and has had a a problem discussing things with me. I have wanted to be involved with every thing have been a slight nag trying to get him to involve me.
Than I realized the one thing that I should be involved with most I have left up to him. MONEY! Its a big thing and a lot of people have marriage problems because of it! I have been leaving it in his hands. Not even paying attention to our bank account. But Jonny has another problem he likes to spend money thinking it makes me happy. But neither of us have been keeping a good enough track of how much money we have in comparision to the amount we need for bills. So when bills come up we are usually a lil short!
So I realized if I want to be involved in every decision I have to actually be involved! Crazy thought I know. So instead of neither of us having a clue I came up with an idea, put it in place, and got my husband involved. SO much stress has been released!!
So to all the engaged couples and newlyweds: BE INVOLVED! Make every decision together. That way there is no mix up in communication and it is a combined effort. You should do everything together!!!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010


Life has been totally crazy lately! I got a new job and my husband quit his. So are rolls have switched quite a bit. It's kind of hard because I still want to do all the things I use to do but at the same time I just can't juggle completely taking care of the house and working full time. So I am trying to learn to let go and let my husband do the things he has time for and vice versa.

The worse part is my body doesn't deal well with stress so now I am sick on top of everything. Being sick with a new job is horrible. Life is just crazy. I guess I need to find a way to relieve my stress without putting it all on my husband! Finding new balance in even small things when you are a newlywed isn't that easy. After all everything has changed. In a good way of course. Its just different.

So to all the newlyweds and engaged couples: Adjusting will be hard at times. It doesnt happen in days or weeks or even months. But it will happen eventually. Just slowly and over time. Just relax and let the adjustments come on their own!

Thursday, October 07, 2010

How dreams change over time...

Today I have been thinking about how much our dreams change as we get older and as our circumstances change. When I was little I never really had one thing I wanted to be. It changed day by day and also by who I was talking too. Secretly I wanted to be a model. When I was 16 one of my friends Sydney mentioned to me that I should try out for America's Next Top Model. She had no idea that that was my dream. I loved that show. Well I realized that a models life isn't really the lifestyle I wanted.

So my dreams changed again.... I wanted to go to college and eventually work behind a desk or in an office of some sort I know huge change. and eventually after I graduate have a family. Well later on I realized I didn't really want to be in college. Everyone else wanted me to be in college! But not wanting to disappoint anyone I stuck with it.

About 7 months ago I met the man of my dreams. 2 months ago we were married. And yet again my plans changed..... Well before we were married I had this awesome modeling opportunity but the weekend after my reception we were suppose to go to Seattle. I realized the financial strain this would put on us. We were already sacrificing things for MY dream. Instead of thinking about OUR DREAM. Well before we went I decided I didn't want to go that path or follow that dream.

My dream now is too become the best wife I possibly can and have a family of my own. After all family is the most important thing in the world. I think this is what I have always wanted I was just too afraid of letting everyone else down. Than I realized if I lived for everyone else who would be living for me?
So to all the fellow newlyweds and engaged couples: Really take time to think and discover what YOUR DREAMS for YOU are. Forget what others dreams for you are. Live for you and your future family! Everyone else won't be as upset as you think they will. And eventually they WILL get over it!

Wednesday, October 06, 2010

"All is well. Our family has come home."

So last night after months of reading I finally finished reading the Work and the Glory. For those that havent read it you definitely need too!!! Besides the whole LDS theme the family theme in it is absolutely incredible! The Steed family is a great example to us today! The ending of the book brought me to tears. "All is well. Our family has come home."
The family doesn't ever put anything above their family. Family is always first. I am so glad that I have a mother that loves and supports me. Know that I am married I have been given a husband that puts me above everything. It gets complicated because we are both trying to put the other one first. :) But that is the best complication ever!!!
I think this is one of the biggest problems the world has these days. Family is not at the top of the list for most people. Actually its not even near the top of the list for most people! I just hope that when Jonny and I do extend our family that we will be close like the Steed family. That family will be at the top of our list.
So to all the newlyweds and engaged people:Remember that family is the most important thing ever! Always put your spouse before everything else! Even if your parents are against it. Your husband or wife is the top priority. Love them with all your heart and they will love you in return! <3

Saturday, October 02, 2010

Try for each other!!

So I have discovered that my husbands shorts are just about the most comfortable thing ever!!! So I have been pretty much in them constantly! Than I noticed that I havent really been trying hard enough for my husband.....
When we had just gotten married I was worried about us becoming comfortable around each other. I was also trying to be that tv mom I have mentioned before. So I relaxed more and starting being lazy...
As you can tell by my previous blogs I have a problem finding the happy medium in things! So I have to figure out how to be relaxed and comfortable but still dress nice and try hard for my husband....
This one is gonna be more complicated than other problems I have had. How can I be relaxed but still stay dressed nice....
Maybe I can dress nice when we go out and about but stay in these amazing shorts at home....
I'm not quite sure...
It doesn't help my husband isn't the dressy guy that I use to be with... So when he is in a tshirt and shorts I feel like I dont have to try..
But the thing is he has always been like this....And I haven't...
I love him for him and I know he would love me no matter what. But I should keep trying even after we got married.
I hear this happens alot. Once people get married they quite trying. I think I have been worried about it and thinking about him doing it so much that I haven't been watching me....
So to all the fellow newlyweds or engaged couples out there: Even after your married remember that you have to fight to stay in love.... And you should fight to be the best you can because you thought your spouse was worth it before! So don't forget to be the best you you can while still being yourself! Its all about finding the happy medium!!!

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Not getting it all at once....

So today I got super excited about the possibility of getting a house. When we realized that we don't really have money for a down payment right now I was pretty heart broken.
When I was little and pictured being married, I pictured us in the perfect house. Him graduated from college and having the perfect job.
Things would probably be easier if they were this way .... But part of me is glad that they aren't. Having to work for those things have some perks. Going through the times when money is tight and getting him through school grows us closer. Working together and earning these things make them ours instead of just his.
I think I want things now because picturing the future is hard for me. Its hard cause I can't really compare it to those around me because everyone I know seems to be on a different time frame. Some of my friends already have a house. Some of my friends are having babies! Some of my friends are getting married soon. Some aren't even dating.
I guess by looking at this I learn that my time frame is different and no matter how much I want to I can't speed it up!
In my imagination it was easy because I got it all at once. In the real world you have to travel along the path and slowly get things when it is the right time.
So to all the engaged couples and fellow newlyweds: I guess we just have to be patient. I know that is not that easy. I am not patient at all. But when the time is right we will get those next steps. Just be glad that you have the love of your life! The rest will come!!! But trust me you usually don't get it all at once!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

When to lean on them

Another issue I seem to have a problem with is asking for help. Not just with my husband with anyone. So when I got engaged I worked hard on this. But the only problem was that he has the same problem! So when he wasn't relying on me I didn't want to rely on him!
Well I slowly broke down that wall and he broke down his. But now I have another issue. I have noticed that now I think I lean a little too much. Knowing that there is someone there to help out isn't something I am really that use to. So finding that balance is still hard for me.
I seem to be going through swings. One week I dont really ask for any help. So the next week I have so much to do I am swamped and just don't want to do it at all! So than I ask him to do pretty much everything!
This obviously isn't working because it equals way too much stress.
I think one issue with this is he doesn't really ask me to do anything. So in my mind that must mean he isn't that busy so I ask him to do more! Than I remember he has school full time and a part time job! He is quite a busy man.
Sad to say I don't really have an answer on this one. Any advice would be welcome!
So for all the engaged couples and fellow newlyweds: Don't be afraid to ask each other for help. I know it makes me feel more useful. But don't be afraid to admit when you just have too much going on either! Communication is key!!!

Monday, September 27, 2010

Balancing the Romance

How much romance is too much?? How much is too little???
When first getting married I will admit I expected constant romance. I wanted at least weekly flowers and monthly candlelit dinners. When this wasnt happening I felt myself becoming frustrated. Don't I deserve the romance?
Well tonight I realized two things.
First off- My husband isn't super romantic. This isn't a bad thing. It is just him. He does romantic things randomly and rarely.
Secondly- when you have constant romance it isn't really romance. It is every day life.
I like that my husband doesn't bring me flowers every week. I like that I dont expect something. Because when you begin to expect it its just not the same. I love being surprised with a candlelit dinner and a movie. But when you know its friday and are expecting flowers it just isnt the same.
I also have realized that I can romance my husband. Why does he always have to do it? Yes I like being romanced but he probably does too!
So to all the engaged couples and fellow newlyweds: Enjoy the romance as it comes but don't expect it. If you feel like you need it. Do something for him. It will usually motivate him to do something back!

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Proper Tv Mom or guys friend????

So when I first got married I tried to be proper and poised all the time. I think this was just because that is how you saw it on tv. And I wasn't quite sure how else to do i t! But after two months (well one day short of two months) it has gotten tiring! But the problem is a happy medium!
You see when you have guy friends they think burping and all that guy stuff is hilarious. But the problem is I'm not Jonny's guy friend. I am his wife. So I think I am held to a different standard. Not that that is a bad thing!!!
So where is the inbetween ground between being a proper tv wife and being a guy friend???
Well since no two guys are the same there is no correct answer. I think this is where that trial and error process comes in to play! For now I am just trying things I am comfortable with and going from there!
For those that are engaged or to the fellow newlyweds: Don't expect to have this all figured out. But don't expect too much out of your spouse or yourself!! Eventaully you will be around each other so much you will just be comfortable and figure out your proper balance.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Trying to be the perfect wife

When I first got married it was easy to do all the wifey things. Because I wanted my husband (and everyone else) to think that I was the perfect wife.
At first everything went amazing. Then I realized I had no clue how to be a perfect wife. I am new at it! I worked really hard to do all the things you did when you were little and playing house.
Slowly my motivation and my perfect wife act was slipping.,.....
But you know what I dont have to be perfect. It is hard to admit that but its true. Jonny married me for me not for this perfect wife I was trying to become. Once I realized this it became alot easier to clean the apartment because now I don't feel like I'm doing it for others. I am doing it for me. I love coming home to a nice clean home and I love the look on my husbands face when he comes home to a clean place.
So to all the other newly weds or the engaged people don't worry about being perfect. No one expects you to be! Be yourself and you will save yourself so much stress!!!